Bibimbap. Plain, not dolsot

Before we got married, we visited Hyuk's parents in LA. It was stressful. Marriage was on our agenda but it would not be possible without Halaboji and Halmoni's blessing. We behaved like grade school children that week. Hands on the lap, no public display of affection, no giggling.

In the Korean culture, at least the version I got, young people (even married) aren't supposed to be intimate in front of elderly. In fact, wives are supposed to keep a safe distance behind the husband when they are outside. I also got the lesson on wife of the eldest son should be head of housewives at home. All sound like evidence to support the impressions of Koreans that most people have. I found it strange and difficult to accept. My family was a lot easier on me. I was allowed to date and the guys I took home for dinner didn't have to be potential husband. The housewife part struck me hard. I was young and felt like I had a career in front of me (and these days, I'll tell you it's a way to pay the mortgage). It took me years to understand what housewife really means. A housewife has the responsibility to look after the well being of the entire family and also to manage the finance. It's a huge job. The comparison to the crporate world would be housewife is the CFO and COO.

Years later, I also found out the whole no PDA concept is very seventies. That brings to another observation, immigrants (Chinese and Korean alike) break the arms of the clock and are very good at living in a time capsule. Perhaps that's a way to have something that they are familiar with and know that they can rely on when they are away from the clan.

Anyway, I had to learn about Korean food that week and I don't mean learning the cut of beef. It's full blown how to prepare Korean food at home. My initiation was bibimbap. Some people said you will end up mixing the toppings with the rice with a big dollop of hot chili pepper paste anyway, what is there to cook?

- The colour of the toppings and the arrangement provides the aesthetic element of the dish
- If carefully chosen, the different vegetables gives complimentary taste and texture to the dish
- People these days are also talking about vegetables of different colours (at least 5 a day!) provide a good range of nutrients

There's no straight rules as to what you can use as toppings. The use of sesame oil and hot chili pepper paste (in some cases, a dash of soy sauce on top) is usually generous.

I like the version with mook (acorn jelly) and kim (seasoned seaweed). BTW, dolsot means in the stone pot. At home, we eat bibimbap in a bowl.